when i was doing my project on social networking sites last trimester, i came across this term called 'posting paradox'. it means that even if users of SNSs know that what they post slash upload can be used against them, they still post stuffs that give green lights to confrontations. well, it is indeed SO very..very..true.

throughout the course of my whole stay so far, here at home, i sometimes really wish that my blog stays anonymous. been questioning my decision; is all my meagre attempt to disclose this blog rather.. wrong? oh GOD. i mean, it's obvious i can't trash in twitter, right? it's wayyyyyyy too public. and while the 140 letters policy is conducive to a short sweet direct heart-felt *straight to the heart* message, i don't know. hmmm, aside from avoiding the paradox, i am a true supporter of peace after all ;)

gosh i am sooo unhappy now. though things have worked out for all the best with my fam. well except the part when mommy said 'sometimes it is better for you to not go home' (or sth like that i refuse to remember the exact wording or phrase). SHIET. now i'm speechless again......

ohh and my best friend is acting sorta not supportive. and nothing seems right with trying so hard to just hang out with my old pals. and my stay with that creep-if-a-cousin later in melb? GAH. FUCK UP LIFE. there's no one i can share this with, mom being way too practical, daddy well, busy, and my best girl somewhere out there in god-know-what. gimme a break :/ and die 'identity politics'! i wanna fucking shout what i think...and for life to SHUT up!

merry end to 2010..NOT.

this is it peeps. 2010: checked. fireworks? NONE. books? NONE. drinks and drunks? NONE. parties? NONE. confettis? dun even think about it. readers? NONE as WELL. why is my life so freaking fucked up?!

and for the record: gab's mellowing with me, and we're having a virtual new year's party as we speak, and i blog. perth's and manado's time the same, so i'll do my countdown the new-millenia way: toasts and firework-sound-effect texts. dunno what it means? well, so sorry i'm not a lecturer. NO questinos allowed.

*shiuttttt kaboom kaboom



FIREWORKS!

and why am i sooooo........ insophisticated today, you ask? or is today this hour this second the twin of snow white's grumpy (the dwarf) ? well let me tell you. today does NOT end on a good note. the tune of the highest 'do' is not melodic. it's a falsetto.

work. fuck up. stop being a bitch to me and keep underestimating my fuck up talents. oh yeah, who does NOT become slow and awkward and stupendous when you are always given the underestimating look?! GRRR. i am really not meant for child labour. seriously. OUCH. hanggri jexz sighhh.



ohhh yeahh. goodbye my socio life. i got nothing to do on a big day like this and i'm definitely feeling the fucking pain- heartache. how come my parents are more 'it' and 'in' than me?! they've got dinner party? quoting tommy, with an annoying face and the UNDERESTIMATING eyes: come on!

PS and i'm fasting. no food. no milk and dairy. no movies. no books. no entertainment. no new blog theme. NOThing!

pro in procrastinate-art

this is called: procrastinating. i am supposed to iron my mountain of clothes right now, but i cant bring myself to muster the SLIGHTEST enthusiasm to do so. wait, who says you need enthusiasm to iron a MOUNTAIN of clothes? says who? winnie the pooh?



been busy weeks, the last two. mommy's friends went down to perth and wowww, we are literally speaking soirees here. super super many nights and yep, food. this is called: the piggie curse.



ate like a super pig, i am convinced i regained my stupid weight! ohhh nooooo! and mommy, so not helping-ly, and so endearingly, tells me how round my nose is. of all things she could have commented on, she chose my nose?! okk that was pure weirdness. 12 on the scale of 1 to 12 ;p

and there's all the farewells and goodbyes and all that. (wonder why we never celebrate the hellos, and only remember the goodbyes?) all my housemates either moved away, or went home to our dearest poorest yet still dearest in~do~ne~siaaaaa. oh my god, i keep saying i wanna come, and they can just fold me bend me twist me whatever me, and put me in the cabin or a lugagge. and they just stare at me as though i'm a twisted lunatic. c'mon. i fit! -.- but you know, thing is, however small and weightless i may be, the charges of an overweight bagagge exceeds the price of a plane ticket home by hundreds of dollars. so yeah, it's impractical that way. and no matter how impractical i might have sounded, i want to travel in comfort, that much is for certain.

friend's lost pup

this entry, dear readers, is done as a result of hopeful, consistent request from my dear friends.

dearest, this will be a dedication to another of my dear friend.

she's been having an uber bad mood for well, one day. and my problem? it's reasonless. not literally my business, but her bbm.. (NOT blackberry messenger!) face it, how annoying can it get when you have to face a crappy badttitude, not of your doing of course, but for no-reason whatsoever. the very least you can do, girl, is tell us what's bothering you. what do you get by showing off a damn annoying face when we CANT know what's causing it, and we can do nothing to change it? all you achieve is seriously ignite bad, dangerous fire. not even my usual adding oil to the burning flame.

the funny thing, girl, even if you are trying so darn hard to be an enraged badass, you can't even hold your own fort and leave us out of your irreproachable behaviour. you wait for us to do the simplest thing- like a lost puppy!- and you know what, for your own good, it is a serious cause of amusement. shocking how good things can come even in the worst of bad hair days, huh.


and what i'm saying is, if this happens again anytime soon, if the THIRD happens anytime soon, you're minced. butcher's public execution, ring ding dong bell!

yucky yellow

and now, i shall tell you of my dearest friend in 9dv.

well, well. isn't it a shock, how much people change. the shy, low self-esteem girl i know, always filled with lame jokes and promotions for her family business, is now striving to be a blonde. no offense to blondies, you guys look hot, sexy and doable, but she's just not part of your posse. she's not doable, for one. well, with make-up and plastic, my dearie matey may look lovable, but not.. you know.

no offense ( and why do i say that when i'm clearly being completely on the offense? ) but please lay off the whole blonde thing. a piece of advice: there's a distinct possibility that you may not look good with hay-yellow hair.



unlike snsd, korean your idol, there. you may have the same name, but so what? my god. me and my sis got the same name, more than 5 syllables of my name and hers fit, but we're like, god and human. and go easy with the slut acad crap.

ok. not that i hate you or anything, but please: EARTH to you! goodness, as much as i know how rough this is, please, just STOP. heavens.

the bash - deluxe version

let's say, it is rather sad, huh? when the good ol' time come back to haunt you in the face. well, exactly 2 months after 'the bash first version' too!

you see, it was a friend's birthday. and the same effing thing happened. it brought about craps, really, sitting at the end of the table. all alone, having nothing to eat because some restos don't know this service called prioritizing. he's the one to treat us, PAY the resto and all, and yet ...

the good ol' times.

anyway, you know how this is different from my bash? well, this time we all are pretty much mucked up with the BBs, not even under the table. get this? in mine, everyone had a blast except me, but here, rarely one had a blast. everyone's too grossed with their own matter and poof! there goes precious darling harmony and truce.

and somebody brought alcohol, 43%. my god! for your info, we are good innocent underage who are supposed to answer 'what's that?' when are asked 'fancy a drink?'. he brought misery to us all, and not only to the girls. i mean, the guys are giving him dirty looks, just fitting from how he wanna show he's not mama's boy anymore. real, you are not your mama's boy, just as she doesn't want ye. a word of caution, child: you are driving!

i just heard this rumour about him, he likes to get drunk and pester on little girls on good old times. true, i've seen it myself on twitter, and it's uber yuck! any of you girls want to catch his eyes? if you still hold the big V dear, better not! and the ultimate clincher comes when he forced another guy to drink along with him. hey hey, that boy is a lost little puppy with no one of his class in the table, and he's an easy prey! disappointing, don't pick on someone who's eyes are goddamn red already, grab a bigger challenge!

and birthday bboy ex came. blasty; no one expected that. they MIGHT have a clean break months ago, but no one expects her to get the text with her BB taken by the school. not that she isn't welcomed, but her presence is vexing. and the beer she ordered, too.

and my feelings bout all this, is how i can feel the patheticness of not enjoying your own bash. it' sad, and i was at a loss of what to say to bboy. come on, he could still laugh and say: best night of 2010 right after. what kind of crap is that? WOW, boy, you are born to impress.

and here's the only photo we got to take the whole night. one solid prove to all i say :

introducing after months

it's been like decades since the last time i wrote here. and let us dedicate a song to my coming back. how does usher's hey daddy sounds like? i know it is seriously not up to the occasion, but what are blogs for?

truth is, i only remembered this blog like 1 and a half hours ago, but think about it, writing in your itouch just plain goddamn sucks. long texts, obviously. but short URLs? definitely thank apple for their invention of this gadget. my god, i'm in LOVE!

know what, this may be the last shred of honesty i'm gonna write here. no offense, fans, but my dear dear friends of the heart, of the school and whatsoyoucallit, has now gained knowledge of the existence of my enormous blog, and from what i read in my previous entries, there maybe some bloodbath coming this fall. don't worry, i'll keep you posted for any kinds of good progress. after all, i may have a mini penchant for trouble.

okk. and that was just my intro, don't give a big damn when i write more than 1000 words this time, you know you wanna catch up.